Monologue for Madness
by DANHK
Summary: What is madness for you? Is it related to love? Maybe when you've lost all you had you'll begin to loose the reality...


**Title.-**Monologue for Madness

**Author.-** Dark Angel No Hikari Kai

**Disclaimer.-** I don't own Kai or Beyblade... Wish I could… The song belong to The Rasmus

**Warning.-** Shounen-ai

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A figure walked the way through the cemetery; it was a lonely shadow in the middle of a rainy night. Dark clouds covered the brilliant moon partially, so a gloomy penumbra illuminated the scene. The mysterious being stopped his steps in front of a special grave. Where obviously someone was waiting for him to arrive…

**Pov. Kai**

"Why do you want to know my story? It's only one non-sense tale like a million more than exist in the world, then why mine? There are lots of more interesting people everywhere you look around, then why do you look at me? I'm only a poor boy with no past and no future, who's going to disappear in one moment, then why do you ask my name? I'm not a human like you, because my life stopped a long time ago, I'm not a demon nor an angel, then why do you come to me?"

"But it's good to have someone to talk to; it's nice to feel that you're not alone; it's a relief to know that someone cares for you… but, someone like you… I can't… Someone like you mustn't be near me, someone like you must go away… please, go, don't stay, don't try to know about me, don't try to come to me, you must go far, forget me and never come back!"

"It's better this way… you're gone… but, forever?"

_I dumped you again_

_I don't understand_

_It's happened before_

_Can't take it no more…_

"So you're back…I told you to go and never return… then why are you here?"

"I see… those words are beautiful, such a pain that you don't know their meaning. You have to understand that I won't be with you!"

"You want to know about me, right? Well, I'm gonna tell you what happened. Please don't tell anything until I've finished, then you can say everything you want… and if you want to follow me or leave me…"

"It's hard to admit, but I did a great mistake in my past that is going to torture me for the rest of my days… What did I do? I killed the person who loved me and whom I loved with more love in my whole life! ... Why? It's a long story!"

_These foolish games_

_Always end up confusion_

_I'll take you back_

_Just to leave you once again…_

"First, I have to tell you about him, he was a great boy, the best person that you can imagine! He would always be with you, in the good times and in the bad times. You knew that he would be there for you when you failed and did such mistakes that can't be arranged. When you were alone and everyone had turned away, he was by your side giving you a hand. With a brilliant smile in his lips and his quiet eyes that gave your heart a moment of relief convincing you that not all was lost… he IS fantastic, you should meet him!"

"We met ourselves a long time ago. When we've just met we were rivals, enemies, and by now we are the closest couple in the world! But once we were only "casual friends"…"

"You seem so interested in me… you said that you love me… Is that true?"

"It can't be I promised that I mustn't love anyone! ... I mustn't!"

_I died in my dreams_

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_Got lost in the fire_

_I died in my dreams_

_Reaching out for your hand_

_My fatal desire…_

"Sorry… it hurts to remember, I don't want you to live what I lived; I don't want to do to you all what I did to him… "

"Where did I stop? Oh, yeah! Casual friends. We were only "casual friends"; we had to see each other for some reasons that weren't our own. Always arguing, fighting and trying to humiliate the other…"

"How ironically the life plays its games! I don't know how or why we finished as good friends, but we were always together. All the people wondered why he was my friend, I mean, he was always happy, playful and joyful, and I was serious, didn't talk to anyone except to him, and "Mr. Sourpuss" or "Ice's heart" as he used to call me…"

"And from this great friendship we ended as a couple of lovers, a couple of secret lovers, anyone never knew… Years together. Years loving our "special person". I know how stupid it sounds, but that was true; in those years nothing mattered, anything was important, only he and me… only we, no money, no social classes, nothing but souls and hearts…"

_I've failed you again_

_'Cause I let you stay_

_I used to pretend_

_That I felt ok…_

"Then, the question would be, why did I killed him? It was because I hated him, hated that he never cared when we hadn't any money, he didn't care when I was denied as a Hiwatari, when my and his family rejected us; he never cared when the society looked at us and pointed those fucking fingers toward us. While they whispered stupid things, he was smiling and always would tell me 'we're going to be alright'."

"All the people hated us, we were their shame, and we were the stuff they want to hide, to disappear. Then the notice came to my ears, my grandfather was planning to destroy me, 'cause he knew that if I continued in my own way I would end his kingdom. He was going to attack the one I loved…"

"I was worried so I told him that we had to escape, we have to survive!... all he answered was 'I don't care, let him do whatever he wants, I'm going to be with you'. That was when I realized that he didn't love me, he used me, he was only using me! I couldn't believe that, but it was true…"

_Just one big lie_

_Such a perfect illusion_

_I made you mine_

_Just to hurt you once again…_

"So I had to finish a work… Time continued its way, all changed, cold distance darkness, of that was made my spirit. My soul was broken, dirty. You noticed it too late, when you couldn't change anything. My job was done, your mind was poisoned, your heart became an impossible puzzle that never was gonna be fixed, your soul was gone…"

"Never perceived my methods. Destroy that smile was the first step, make you doubt of yourself was the second one, loose the light of your eyes the third, the fourth was to made you forget your reasons for living, the last was your suicide… Nobody knew why you did it…"

"I remember all so perfect… our house (home sweet home!) was in the fifth floor , near a main avenue. You jumped, cars over you and all had ended. The doctors said that there was no way to save you… no form… but, although your body could be saved, your mind was already dead. I did it; I killed you, by killing your mind, heart and soul. No physical, but in another way, another cruel way…"

_I died in my dreams_

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_Got lost in the fire_

_I died in my dreams_

_Reachingoutforyourhand_

_My fatal desire_

"But now, here, I comprehend that I need you by my side, in that game, that stupid illusion. I can't live another day without you, my great strength is gone…. You can't come back, so I will go with you once again, so please give me your hand for the last time, until I'm covered with that light that destroys the darkness where I'm found, but only remember that I love you!"

"_**Give me your hand for the last time; give me your kiss for the last breath…"**_

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Well, this is a story that I wrote a year ago for my literature class, so I think it's not so bad… ¬¬ Ok. You will decide if it's good or not. So hope you like it, thanks for reading and please review! 


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